Family: the once thing in life that never changes. Unless someone dies, of course.

No, nobody died. If they did, I wouldn't have posted this until.. at least a week after the death. If someone died, I'd be off computers.. well, actually, I wouldn't. I would try to, but I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Anyways, yesterday.. My brother Justin became a full-on believer in Catholicism. He got "confirmed" last night at a 2-hour event at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel [my church]. It was really emotional for me, but not because my brother was getting confirmed. I've been fighting with my parents recently, you know? It really sucks. In church I got this booklet of all the bible readings that would be read during the mass. I was tapping on it and brushing it with my fingers to make some rhythm, get me less bored and a bit more hyper and excited. My dad's telling me to stop, but I keep insisting that it's music. My brother Jason and I fight about what music is and then my dad's like "Why aren't you listening to me? You don't show me any respect.. you don't deserve to call me "Dad" anymore. I'm not your Dad. You just lost a Dad."

That really killed me. A lot. Tears welled up in my eyes. My brother saw me about to cry and asked me to go on a walk with him. On the way out the door, I started bawling. Silently, of course. My brother asks me about the domain crap and all that and then the whole conversation turns into an argument over my parents trust in me. It was a good argument. Jason is one smooth talker. From what he told me, I found out that I think I am a little kid. I think of myself as a little kid: selfish, greedy, easily hurt. If I start thinking of my self as a big kid [mature, responsible, stronger] then my parents could trust me too.

It took me a while to stop the tears. But I did. Sure, I was choking up during the mass. But all in all, I still loved my parents. Even though my mom and I were arguing and my dad doesn't want me anymore.

At the confirmation reception after the mass, I met up with Justin and congratulated him. I was very proud of him. Being the baby of the family, I talked to him last. It gets annoying, but you learn to live and love it.

We ate a ton of salami sandwiches [cracker, salami, cracker] and that was supposed to be our dinner. Pshh, that.. our dinner? Yeah, right. On the way home, I apologized to my mom, because I know that she's way more calm and patient and totally forgiving. She believes in the best of people. I'm saving my dad for later… but he's not really my dad anymore. *sniffles*

Man..

My god, Matt just talked to me. He actually talked to me. On AIM. He like completely shut me off and now he talks to me? I hate that.

This is the recap of the conversation with Matt that I told Jessie:

yay its me xx: he's just like 'hi' and i said 'woah youre talking to me'
Chase the ppl: lol
yay its me xx: and then he said 'im trying to ignore you but you and jessie are the only ones online'
yay its me xx: it was very nic
yay its me xx: *nice
yay its me xx: lol
Chase the ppl: lol I bet
yay its me xx: we just started talking about random stuff
yay its me xx: he's like, do you think that girls still like me?
yay its me xx: and i said, probably
yay its me xx: he said, what
yay its me xx: and i said, well its not like they can help it
yay its me xx: he said, i know they cant resist me
yay its me xx: im just like LMFAO
Chase the ppl: hahaha
yay its me xx: i cant help but agree with him
Chase the ppl: god I know

Funny, right?

Well.. that's about it. Talk to ya.. later.