unpredictable.

Yeah.. evil people.. me went home sicky today. Me can only be on PC for a few minutes.

Bye, for now.

Nicole

So.. ohhh yesterday was lots of fun!! Well.. okay, read:

Okay, so I woke up at like 9. Ohh how much I love sleep! Then I went downstairs and my mom's like "OMG someone TPed our house!". Because, well, someone did. Anyways, my mom said I had to pick it up later with my bro, because one of our friends did it. I'm pretty sure that one of my bro's friends did it. But I might be wrong…

Anyways, I went on the computer, chatted for a while. My mom took me to the Escondido Girl Scouts shop, so I had to take a shower and such.. ehh.. so I got it, and my mom was totally frantic over my vest. Should it be large or medium… lol. I have to wear it throughout High School (it's the same vest through Cadettes and Seniors). And that's where Brittani Cortopassi's mom's car got broken into about a year ago! The robbers took her credit cards because she left her purse in there.

Okay, back to this year. So I didn't haveto clean up the TP, my bro did, and he didn't seem to mind. And then my mom and I went to Costco and bought stuff and tried samples of food and such for almost 2 hours. It was actually lots of fun. At 4, we left for my second cousin's grandpa's 60th birthday party. There was an awesome Japanese/Chinese lion dance, and a really nice band. It was my uncle's band, actually, but they were great!

Okay, so basically, it was very cool!

Yeah.. that's about it.

Nicole

Okay, sorry. Here's yesterday's (Friday's) post that I didn't post. I'll post today's post later today. Is that confusing?

Okay; Friday!

Well, it was good. Talked to Matt a bit, had some "fun" with Ashley. Nothing too serious. All in all, a good day. It coulda been better, but.. ehh.. lol.

What a great post, right?

Nicole

So today… oooo today. Well, for one, Matt and I are just friends. And he says there's a really low chance we'll get back together. Emily is.. well.. evil.. still. Maybe not a big change but.. just read: here. So those of you who think Emily is well, normal… think about it again. Is this how she treats her "best friends"? Not trying to turn you guys against her… maybe.

Look, just read it, tell me your feedback, I'd love to hear it.

Okay, well, I was planning to write Matt a REALLY LONG NOTE last night, I basically wrote it my head. I wrote the actual letter during 3rd period, and.. well.. it took me half and hour because I wanted it to sound really.. well.. like me, I guess. It said, well, basically, that I still love him. I asked him to the V-day dance.. I dunno if I should've but I did. And, well, I didn't get an answer yet. I talked to him on AIM (I guess he took Olivia's advice to talk to me) and it was, okay. I saved our convo, but I'm not going to post it.. it's between me and him.

Want more info, email me or catch me on AIM.

Nicole

Again, life sucks.

I dunno what to do anymore. Life's great for everyone else, then I bog them down and them life bad for them. Today I realized that friends are like the crew of a sinking ship. Life is the sinking ship, the people in it are the crew members. They're all tied together with a small thread that's cut when problems occur. When the string is cut, the sailors fall, the ship sinks, everyone dies, and everyone suffers. I hate that.

This morning I told my mom that Matt broke up with me. I did tell her last night but she was just telling me my flaws and such… but this morning, I crawled into her bed when my dad left to eat breakfast. I cuddled up with her and she said, "Are you okay?" Of course, I'm not. All I think about is Matt, and how much I miss him, how much I want him back. Funny, I'm saying this even though he's not gunna read it anytime soon. But whatever. All I think about is Matt, is my point basically. That's really about it. I don't focus on school much.. during school I plan what I'm going to say to him. 'Cept I never say what I plan. It comes out differently. Once I start talking to him it's easy, but it's really hard to start talking to him. I wish everything was back to normal. I'd give anything for him again. Just one second chance. Anything. Not my friends, I would never give them up. They're the people I love. Not my family, I love them even more. But I'd give anything for you again. Matt, of course, not the possible pervert who's reading this.

Anyways, I didn't find out what the email says, and I probably never will. I'm boyfriend-less, heart-less, love-less. I feel… not loved. And.. it hurts.

Whatever. Important rant to read, enjoy.

rant to Matt

I still love him.. he just.. doesn't.. care.

Nicole

Okay, here's the simple version of the past 3 days' events.

SUNDAY:
my mom's birthday, we went to church, then went to a buffet place (souplantation or some chinese place, i forget) and it was good

MONDAY:
emily and i fought more, click here to read our convo. (goes from bottom to top, beginning to the basic end). dentist appointment at 4, left at 3:15, had 2 cavities drilled out (it hurts, i swear i'm giving up eating candy a lot) and then fillings put in, went home, watched a jimmy neutron and fairly oddparents marathon and then jimmy timmy 2. not a blast, but it was a good thing to clear my mind of the events of life.

TUESDAY (today) :
okay. i woke up late today, at like 6:45, then woke up and found that my clothes werent dry so i had to put my clothes in the dryer for like 20 min. during the 20 min i ate breakfast and talked to my mom about random things.. my parents (both mom and dad) stayed home on sick leave. i went to school at about 7:30, got there about a min after 7:30 so 7:31 and i ran to rm 205, basic ed. found out the books i needed, saw mckenzie and sam, then yeah.. sam asked me if i broke up with matt, i didnt… tells me what matt said to her and kenz, and.. well.. yeah.. 4th period, theres a lab, matt and i werent partners. i worked alone, sniffling.. lunch comes, im terrified of matt. found out he broke up with me, burst into tears… and then.. i give the heart he carved for me to him, and then.. i sit under my tree and cry. yes cry.

look, people, i did not cheat on him. he did not cheat on me (im pretty sure) and theres nothing else to it. he supposedly broke up with my because i was mean to his friends (from what i know) and.. well.. the rest is matt's and my business.

i hate life. basically.

Nicole

Wow, today was lots of fun.

I slept in till 9 in the morning… woke up because of the darn sunlight. But it was so calm and soothing. Then I remembered life and it got bad again. Sorry for the bad adjectives, I'm just not into thinking today. I do enough of that at school.

I went onto my PC a couple minutes after I got out of bed and talked to Olivia for a while. She invited me to go to the movies with her. We sorted everything out and my mom took me to her house at about 12:30. It took a while to get there because I forgot how to get to their house. But it all worked out in the end.

So we saw Cheaper By The Dozen 2. You average family movie, basically. Alyson Stoner is really pretty!! And Jacob Smith… he looks different now. Oh well, he's still cute. =D. Anyways, there were these 8-10 yr olds behind us laughing and talking.. it was so annoying! But I got over it. After the movie we went to Jamba Juice… and then we went to her house and I simply adored her new stuff. PSP…. *drools*

It was lots of fun. Sorta like a paradise, an escape, if you will, from reality. And it was really comforting. Thanks, Olivia.

Adios peoples!

AIM: br0k3ndream3r
Email: br0k3ndream3r@yahoo.com

Drop a line, it'll make me feel better. =D

Nicole

What a great way to start off my new Blogger thingymabobber-ish.

Today sucked. I mean, why is it that life has to be so complicated? Of course, life is just that. Complicated. It can't be changed to perfect all the time, it always has to have some sort of flaw. One minute, it's perfect. You have the awesomest boyfriend in the world, your friends support you and are still your friends, and you have straight A's. Your parents appreciate you, and never ask more of you. Your brothers are calmer than normal and your pets seem fine. Boom. Next minute, your boyfriend is the same but in a wheelchair, you've lost 2 friends but gained 1 back, you still have straight A's but hate your teachers, your parents don't appreciate or respect you and ask you to do more chores than normal and get A+'s in your classes. Your brothers hate you, yell at you for the slightest flaw. Your hamster's about to die and Dash isn't so dash-y anymore.

Life is so f**kin' complicated, so evil, so cruel. You ask why life has to slowly kill you every second of every minute of every hour of everyday. Life never answers, it just screws your life up more!

Never in my life has life sucked this much. There's so many situations eating away the time in your life. They munch through your brain, replacing the cells with even larger cells filled with negative comments and bad suggestions to fix your problems. (according to Olivia brain cells don't multiply.) You get mental overloads everyday, and spend your time with your only silent friend, a stupid tree.

I don't know what I want anymore. It's confusing… if you pick one choice you might lose someone. Every cause has an effect, and that effect can either be positive or negative. I really doubt that my choices will be positive.

Leave comments for me, I need all the help I can get.

AIM: br0k3ndream3r
Email: br0k3ndream3r@yahoo.com

Nicole